Interstellar Conflicts
by XxpwnagexX
Summary: Is Jar Jar Binx a jar, or just jarlike? Read in awe as I make fun of stuff such as Charlie Brown, Detroit, and many other stuff. Warning: This is just a draft and is completely uneditied, better versions will probably come. Just a oneshot.


Interstellar Conflicts

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a creature named Jar Jar Binx. But was he really a creature… or a simple, inanimate object? That was the question that was always on everybody's minds. THAT was the question that caused a global war. Why else would there be such a conflict going on? Political disagreements? I think not! No, the real cause of the conflict was this…

A rusty newspaper container could be seen fixated on the littered ground in a run-down city known as Detroit, Michigan. Nearby, a man wearing an old overcoat looked up at the cloudy sky as he breathed in a whiff of the smog-filled air. He took one harsh glance at the newspaper holder, his eyes showing everything but contentment. The headline read "Jar Jar Binx: Jar, or jar-like?" Not again.

In another part of the country, the clear skies blanketed the elaborate buildings. "J.K. Rowling! J.K. Rowling!" a cheerful man, clean-cut man dressed in an eloquent suit sang. What was he doing? He was on his way to another debate. Where else would he be? This IS Washington D.C., after all.

Inside one of the buildings, obviously designed by a skilled architect, the debate was in progress. On one of the podiums stood the same cheerful, clean-cut man. But he was different now, His once shining eyes now held a look of seriousness.

"Jar Jar Binx is a jar! It's obvious! Have you looked at him? Pray tell you have not seen anything resembling a jar more than him!"

"Jar Jar Binx is NOT a jar! He breathes and talks just like a creature, therefore he must be considered one!"

Back in Detroit, a conflict of the same topic was going on. Maybe not of the same organized, respectable sorts, but of the same topic nonetheless. It seemed like a normal boxing match. However, there were two things different; they were arguing about whether or not Jar Jar Binx was a jar, instead of just doing it for absolutely no reason whatsoever, and secondly, yet what seemed most important, the match was not staged. The match began, and a glove was raised.

"What did he just do?" a young child curiously inquired.

"Well, Naruto, in boxing, the object is generally for one person to put their opponent in a state where he cannot get up for three seconds, in which he is usually unconscious, using no physical contact whatsoever except for your hands. This is generally caused by something called a "punch" in which the person rolls their fist in attempt to make it come in contact with another person," Kakashi said, appearing out of nowhere.

"Huh?"  
"Good grief, Naruto, you're dense."

Out of nowhere Charlie Brown appeared. "Huh? Did someone say good grief?"

"Go away, Charlie Brown!" everyone said in unison.

The bald kid sulked as he walked away.

It then was the end of the boxing match. The referee asked the winner if he thought Jar Jar Binx was a jar, or just jar like.

_Is this the solution? Will this end the global conflict that has been going on for several years?_ Everyone was tense as they had those questions on their mind.

"I do not know," was the winner's response. Do you know what happened then? People sniffed their mail. Haha, JK LOL OMG! Nope, you know what REALLY happened them? Chaos ensued.

Back in Washington D.C., the debate was long over. In another building, scientists were trying to prove whether or not Jar Jar Binx was a jar or just jar-like.

"We need to think of a plan," one of the scientists said. All of the top minds in the country were gathered together.

"I have an idea! First, we must capture the jar," another scientist said.

"But how will we do that?"

"Hmm… good question… wait! I have an idea! JAR JAR BINX!!!" shouted one of the people in the room in a megaphone.

"Don't forget to bring a towel! Water safety is important." A towel known as Towelie, appeared out of nowhere.

"Why would we need a towel?"

"Jars can hold water, and it's important to have a towel to wipe up any spills from the jar, so no one slips and falls! So don't forget to bring a towel!"

"Okay then…" everyone except for Towelie said in unison.

All of a sudden, a strange noise was heard. "Did somebody say… JAR JAR BINX?!"

Everyone was in awe as they saw the… um, object that they were waiting for for a really long time.

"Quick! Hold him down!" Many of the scientists held him down, while another dropped Towelie into him.

"See, he's a jar! See, I told you so!"

Then, the global conflict was solved and everyone lived happily ever after. Yay.


End file.
